Summary: Parenting style can affect behavior and mental health in children and adolescents in a variety of different ways. On a continuum of least permissive to most permissive, research shows that among the four most common parenting styles, those at the extreme ends of the continuum are associated with negative outcomes, with styles in the middle associated with mixed outcomes.
Key Points:
- Parenting style determines the overall atmosphere of the home.
- Parenting style has a powerful impact on parent-child relationships.
- Communication, compassion, and understanding in parenting is associated with positive behavioral and mental health outcomes for children and adolescents.
- Harshness, rigidity, and control in parenting is associated with negative behavioral and mental health outcomes for children and adolescents.
What are the Four Parenting Styles?
In the article “Types of Parenting Styles and Effects on Children” published by the National Institutes of Health (NIH), child and adolescent development experts identify four primary parenting styles:
- Authoritarian parenting
- Authoritative parenting
- Permissive parenting
- Uninvolved parenting
When examining how each parenting style can affect behavior and mental health in children and adolescents, it’s possible to identify positive and negative impacts.
However, with near universal consensus, experts observe that the positive outcomes for styles at the extreme ends of the parenting continuum often appear in opposition to those parenting styles, while positive outcomes for styles in the middle often appear in accord with those parenting styles.
Let’s take a look at these styles now, one by one, from least to most permissive. We’ll explain the primary characteristics of each style, then identify how that parenting style can affect behavior and mental health in children and adolescents.
Authoritarian Parenting
“My way or the highway.”
Think of this parenting style as a direct reflection of the typical associations with its name, authoritarian. A synonym for authoritarian is dictator. In an authoritarian household, parents rule like a dictator. They make strict rules, do not explain them, and expect children to follow all rules without questioning them and respond to all directions immediately and automatically.
Characteristics of this style include, but are not limited to:
- Low level of warmth in parent-child relationships
- Low level of nurturing in parent-child relationships
- High expectations for perfect behavior
- Strict rules around everything
- No explanation of rules
- No options offered to kids
- Harsh consequences for not following rules
- No negotiation around consequences
- Impatience with any mistakes
- Critical, harsh communication style, often characterized by shaming, personal attacks, and derision
Common behavioral outcomes for children and adolescents associated with authoritarian parenting:
Positives:
- Compliant, obedient children
- Follow precise instructions well
While a compliant, obedient child is certainly easier to parent, whether automatic compliance and obedience is a positive trait is up for debate.
Negatives:
- Increased aggression
- Decreased prosocial behavior
- Difficulty in social situations
- Increased rebellion/boundary testing during adolescence
- Elevated risk of alcohol and drug use
Common mental health outcomes for children and adolescents associated with authoritarian parenting:
Positives:
Research on parenting styles shows no positive mental health outcomes associated with being raised in an authoritarian household.
Negatives:
- Low self-esteem
- Insecure attachment style
- Increase in depressive symptoms/depressive disorders
- Increase in symptoms of anxiety/anxiety disorders
- Elevated risk of alcohol and substance misuse and/or disordered use
In addition, research indicates children raised in an authoritarian household show:
- Impaired academic achievement
- Impaired cognitive development
- Increased risk of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs)
Child and adolescent development experts conclude that many of the negative outcomes associated with authoritarian parenting are the result of children following rules out of fear of discipline and/or extreme punishment. Persistent fear is associated with chronic stress, which can become toxic stress, lead to long-term exposure to fight-or-flight hormones, and increase risk of various emotional, psychological, and behavioral problems.
Authoritative Parenting
“Let’s talk about this and find a way forward.”
Think of this style of parenting as collaborative, with parents having final veto power over all decisions, after considering the input, perspectives, and feelings of the child. In an authoritative household, what the parents say goes, and they have final authority on all decisions regarding health, safety, and overall behavior.
While there’s ample communication, and children and teens have input, authoritative parents do not abdicate authority or responsibility.
Characteristics of this style include, but are not limited to:
- High level of warmth in parent-child relationships
- High level of nurturing in parent-child relationships
- Close, positive bond between parent and child
- Frequent, open, productive communication between parent and child.
In an authoritative household:
- Parents set behavioral guidelines, i.e. rules or expectations, and explain why they’re in place in a way children and adolescents can understand.
- Children and adolescents have input, but in most cases, don’t have the power to change rules once they’re set.
- Parents determine what happens when unwanted behavior occurs, i.e. they set the consequences or outcomes, and explain them in a way children and adolescents understand.
- Children and adolescents have input on consequences/outcomes, and may have negotiating power in determining them beforehand, but have limited negotiating power when they don’t meet expectations.
Common behavioral outcomes for children and adolescents associated with authoritative parenting:
Positives:
- Increased social skills
- Increased responsibility
- Higher levels of independence
- Increased problem-solving skills
- Increased ability to form healthy relationships
- Higher levels of creativity
- Improved academic performance
Negatives:
Research on parenting styles shows no negative behavioral outcomes associated with being raised in an authoritative household.
Common mental health outcomes for children and adolescents associated with authoritative parenting:
Positives:
- Increased self-esteem
- Increased emotional control
- Effective self-regulation
- Increased overall wellbeing/happy disposition
- Lower incidence of risky behavior
- Lower incidence of alcohol and substance use
- Decreased incidence of depression/depressive disorders
- Decreased incidence of anxiety/anxiety disorders
Negatives:
Research on parenting styles shows no negative mental health outcomes associated with being raised in an authoritative household.
Child and adolescent development experts conclude:
“This parenting style generally results in the healthiest outcomes for children but requires considerable patience and effort from both parties.”
When children feel heard and understood, they’re more likely to thrive. In addition, when children and adolescents have clear rules and boundaries supported by fair outcomes and consequences that parents follow through on consistently, they’re more likely to follow those rules. In other words, children raised in authoritative households:
- Follow rules because they understand them.
- Accept consequences and outcomes because they had a voice in creating them.
Therefore, children and adolescents raised in authoritative households are less likely to engage in risky behavior, and more likely to push boundaries within healthy limits. In addition, this approach, characterized by communication and compassion, teaches children from an early age to talk through problems and issues, and modify behavior based on knowledge and understanding, rather than fear of punishment or parental disapproval. Overall, research shows that an authoritative parenting style can affect behavior and mental health in children and adolescents in positive and productive ways.
Permissive Parenting
“Whatever you want honey, I trust your instincts and believe you know what’s best for you.”
One way to think of permissive parenting is free-range child raising. In a permissive household, children take the lead, and parents follow. Permissive parents are often very loving and nurturing. They often act as best friends rather than authority figures. Permissive parents don’t impose many rules and value giving children freedom over teaching responsibility.
Characteristics of this style include, but are not limited to:
- High level of warmth in parent-child relationships
- High level of nurturing in parent-child relationships
- Low/no behavioral expectations, i.e. rules, for children or adolescents
- Low/no consequences or outcomes for problem behavior
- Little to no structure in the household
- Low level of conflict in household
- Solicit child input for major decisions
Common behavioral outcomes for children and adolescents associated with permissive parenting:
Positives:
- May display warmth/nurturing/kindness to others
- May take fewer risks, but evidence is contradictory
Negatives:
- Low levels of self-discipline
- Inconsistent social skills
- Poor eating habits
- Low academic achievement
- Poor decision making
- Poor time management
- Increased risky behavior, but evidence is contradictory
- Increased impulsivity, which may lead to alcohol and drug use
Common mental health outcomes for children and adolescents associated with permissive parenting:
Positives:
- May develop robust self-esteem
- May develop positive social skills
Negatives:
- Insecure attachment style
- Poor self-regulation
- Decreased emotional maturity
- Low distress tolerance
- Low level of emotional regulation
- May develop negative social habits
- May become self-centered
Experts on child and adolescent development indicate that a lack of structure – i.e. no rules/expectations, no outcomes consequences – can have a mixed impact. The lack of behavioral boundaries means children may not experience disappointment or frustration often enough to learn how to deal with those emotions, which can cause long-term emotional and behavioral problems. Also, since permissive parents avoid conflict, children in permissive households may not have the opportunity to develop skills related to conflict resolution, which can have a long-term negative impact on relationships.
Finally, experts explain the contradictory evidence around risk-taking, self-esteem, and social skills among children in permissive households by pointing out that the lack of guidance and structure can benefit some children, but not others. While one child may develop positive behavioral characteristics and positive mental health without parental input, another child may have difficulty, and form maladaptive habits and patterns in the absence of clear parental guidance.
Uninvolved Parenting
“Go away kid, you bother me.”
Think of uninvolved parenting as doing the least parenting possible without getting a visit from child services. You can also think of uninvolved parenting as neglectful parenting. In a household with uninvolved parents, the parents might meet the basic needs for food and housing, but don’t participate or invest emotionally in the parent-child relationship. They have few expectations, may not make any rules at all, don’t communicate often, and are rarely nurturing.
Characteristics of this parenting style include, but are not limited to:
- Emotionally detached/distant from children
- Preoccupied with personal issues
- Low level of interaction
- Low level of warmth/nurturing
- Little to no behavioral expectations
- Little to no direct supervision
- Infrequent/no presence at school events
Behavioral outcomes for children and adolescents associated with uninvolved parenting are difficult to predict. In some cases, children develop positive behavioral characteristics out of survival necessity. In others, children develop maladaptive patterns in reaction to parental non-involvement. Therefore, for these children, both positive and negative outcomes may appear:
Positives:
- Increased self-esteem
- Increased independence
- Higher resilience
Negatives:
- Decreased self-esteem
- Decreased independence
- Low resilience
- Decreased maturity
- Low academic achievement
- Problem forming relationships
- Increased risky behavior
Common mental health outcomes for children and adolescents associated with uninvolved parenting are equally difficult to predict, and both positive and negative outcomes may appear:
Positives:
- Increased resilience
- Increased distress tolerance
Negatives:
- Insecure attachment style
- Absence of coping mechanisms
- Low emotional regulation
- Poor communication/relationship skills
Experts on child and adolescent development indicate that an uninvolved parenting style may benefit a child by forcing them to develop effective physical and emotional survival skills. However, the survival skills children with uninvolved parents may be either positive or maladaptive and can lead to both positive and negative long-term outcomes.
Negative outcomes are more likely, though. It’s unlikely that children of uninvolved parents feel seen, heard, and loved. By default, that means the characteristics of uninvolved parenting mean that a child in this type of household will experience at least one adverse childhood experience, or ACE: emotional neglect, which can lead to a wide range of negative emotional, behavioral, and physical problems throughout adolescence and adulthood.
Parenting Style: You Can Learn and Grow, Too
When parents learn about these parenting styles for the first time, most can identify their style on the continuum easily. The deeper we dive into the details, though, the more we hear that in practice, they engage in a combination of styles. They may be authoritarian in some areas, authoritative in others. They may be permissive about some issues and uninvolved in others.
Every family is unique, and each parent has their own style that may or may not fall readily into one of the four categories, and most likely involves elements of all four. This confirms what we know and most parents understand: parenting is complex and the answers to parenting questions are rarely black-and-white, prescriptive, and one-size-fits-all.
Nevertheless, there are simple, prescriptive, and one-size-fits-all concepts we can extract from all this information on how parenting style can affect mental health in children and adolescents:
- Communication helps: when kids understand the reasons behind your expectations, they’re more likely to meet them
- Agency matters: when kids have a voice in the outcomes associated with unwanted behavior, they’re more likely to adhere to/accept them.
Heere’s another important point:
The job of parenting is different than the job of being a friend or supportive peer.
Warmth and nurturing are crucial, but warmth and nurturing without boundaries, guidance, and consistent outcomes for unwanted behavior may mean kids don’t develop critical emotional and behavioral habits skills that promote the maturity, independence, and responsible behavior that leads to productive and fulfilling adulthood.
Kids need your love and compassion first and foremost, that’s a fact. They also need the benefit of your experience, the wisdom of your years, and a solid and reliable structure within which they can learn, grow, and make mistakes.
And if you’re worried about your parenting style, that’s okay: you can learn, grow, and change too – for the benefit of your child, yourself, and your family.
