Summary: You can help your teen manage college application stress in two primary ways. First, assure them that you love them unconditionally whether they get into their college of choice or not, or whether they get into college or not. Second, ensure that applying and going to college is something they want for their life, rather than something you force them into doing.
Key Points:
Source: NACAC College Admission Process Survey
- 50% of college applicants say applying for college is the most stressful thing they’ve ever done for school.
- 60% of college applicants wish they had more support during the application process.
- 65% of college applicants felt they were “just a number” during the application process.
- 67% of college applicants felt overwhelmed by all the advice they got during the application process.
High School Graduates in the U.S.
In the report Public High School Graduates, By Region, State, and Jurisdiction, the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) indicates the following:
2024-2025: 3.44 million people graduated from high school in the U.S.
2025-2026 projected graduates: 3.42 million on track to graduate
One of the first things we want to know in order to help your teen manage college application stress is how many of those graduates made plans to attend college. Let’s take a look at the most recent data, based on a nationwide survey conducted in 2023.
College Plans, Education Plans, Career Plans Among High Schol Seniors
The survey we mention above – the NACAC College Admission Process Survey published by the National Association for College Admissions Counseling (NCAC) – asked students about the future they see for themselves with a 15-minute questionnaire about their plans. To get a general idea of how many college seniors may apply to college this fall, with plans on attending in 2026-2027, let’s look at the results of the survey, which includes data from a diverse sample of 1,010 students, designed to accurately represent the general population of the U.S., ages 16-22.
We’ll review the general questions and statements first, so you know that you’re not the only parent out there who many need to help your teen manage college application stress.
Question 1:
How likely is it you’ll go to a four-year college?
Total likely: 63%
Among those, some were more likely than others:
- Very likely: 35%
- Somewhat likely: 28%
- Not very likely: 4%
- Not at all likely: 32%
Statement:
I have a clear vision of where I want my career to go.
Total agree: 73%
Among those, some were clearer than others:
- Somewhat agree: 40%
- Strongly agree: 32%
However, roughly half were uncertain about their next educational steps.
Statement:
I am not sure what the best next step is for me in my education.
Total agree: 51%
- Somewhat agree: 35%
- Strongly agree: 16%
Thise figures align with what most people would guess. A little under two-thirds think they may end up at college, while around half are unsure.
Thankfully, we have data on what actually happens each year, thanks to information collected by government agencies that keep track of vital facts and figures on education.
Heres’ what we know:
The U.S Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) indicates that in Fall 2023, 61.4 percent of recent high school graduates enrolled in college – about 3.1 million – which means they all went through the college application process, and may have experienced college application stress.
Let’s dive into the survey we mention above, and learn about their college application experience.
College Application Stress: Facts and Figures
Here are the top-line results from the NACAC survey about the application process:
Applying for College: How Do Seniors Feel?
- Feels like a decisive moment in life: 76%
- Worried that a small mistake could affect chances of acceptance: 73%
- Had a hard time deciding where to apply: 80%
- Most stressful thing they’ve ever done related to school: 52%
- Felt overwhelmed by application advice: 67%
- Pressured to apply to many schools: 52%
- Pressured to apply to school they didn’t want to go to: 48%
- Thought that the process was unnecessarily complex: 77%
- 67% felt they had the information they needed to apply
- 23% felt the process was fair, overall
These answers show that overall, high school seniors understand applying to college is a significant moment in their lives. The answers also show many seniors feel pressured to apply, and that the process is difficult, stressful, and unnecessarily complex.
Now let’s see who they were most likely to ask for help while navigating the application process.
Asking for Help Applying for College: Who Are Teens Most Comfortable With?
- Parents: 86%
- Other family: 77%
- Peers: 77%
- Teachers: 72%
- Other adults, not parents or teachers: 70%
- Guidance counselors: 69%
- College admissions staff: 68%
Finally, let’s look at the people – among students who applied for college – they relied on most during the college application process.
Asking for Help Applying for College: Who Did Teens Rely on Most?
- Parents: 72%
- Guidance counselors: 49%
- Teachers: 41%
- Peers: 38%
- College admissions staff: 30%
- Other family: 30%
- Other adults: 26%
What these results tell us is that parents are the most important part of the college application process. Teens are most comfortable going to you for help and advice, and they rely on you more than anyone else during the entire experience.
If you’re unsure how to help, read on: we have advice.
College Applications: Perspective Matters
There are two critical things for everyone involved to realize, including parents, high school seniors, their teachers, and their guidance counselors:
- College isn’t for everyone.
- College isn’t the only path to a fulfilling life and productive adulthood.
And here’s a third thing. This one is for parents:
- Your relationship with your kid is more important than any college application or the outcome of any college application.
With that said, we’ll now offer five practical tips that can make things easier for you and your teen.
How to Help Your Teen Manage College Application Stress
1. Acknowledge It
Have a talk with your teen about the stress around applying for college. At this point, your goal is simply to recognize the stress is real, name it, and tell them it’s perfectly natural. You can show them the statistics in this article, and share your experience if you had application stress, too: you’re proof the stress is 100% survivable, and will pass.
2. Manage Expectations
If your teen is thinking about applying for college, then getting a realistic idea about where they might be accepted is an essential first step. Review their academic transcript, compare that with the entrance requirements of the schools they’re interested in, run everything by the school guidance counselor, and come up with a realistic list based on a combination of qualitative and quantitative factors. They can decide where they most want to go (qualitative) and where they’re most likely to be accepted (quantitative).
The ideal school(s) for them to apply to will be the one(s) that strike a balance between where they want to go and where they’re most likely to be accepted. In many cases, graduating seniors find schools that match both criteria perfectly, and they don’t have to settle.
3. Create a Checklist
During application season, which is generally in the autumn/fall, work with your rising senior to create a checklist of the schools they want to apply to, along with deadlines for everything you need to submit, including applications, financial information, transcripts, scholarship applications, references, and essays. Get in touch with the school guidance counselor and ask for help finding the appropriate federal or state common college application.
Click here for a list of 200 colleges that participate in the Common App Program.
Participating colleges in California include:
- Charles R. Drew University of Medicine and Science
- Dominican University of California
- Menlo College
- Mount Saint Mary’s University, Los Angeles
- Point Loma Nazarene University
- Saint Mary’s College of California
- University of the Pacific
- Whittier College
Click here for a common application to the nine (9) universities in the University of California system.
Once you and your teen have your list, you can start the process. Experienced parents indicate that common applications help save time and can also help students familiarize themselves with application process, which will help when applying for schools that don’t participate in common app programs.
4. Make a Check-in Schedule
Resist the temptation to check and refresh the application page a million and one times. Review all the applications with attention to notification dates and times, and then:
Create a check-in schedule based on those dates and times.
Repeated checking before the planned dates will increase stress. If a school can let you know early, hey probably will. If a school doesn’t let you know by a published deadline, reach out by phone or email, and be patient: over three million students apply to college every year.
5. Stay Grounded
We mention this in the summary and introduction above. It’s worth repeating here: the best way to help your teen manage college application stress is by assuring them that no matter what the outcome, you love them and support them unconditionally. Remind them of these facts:
- Grades don’t determine a person’s character
- The college a person goes to doesn’t determine their value
- College is not the only path to a good job or a happy, fulfilling life
We understand that for both the parent and the aspiring college student, this is a time filled with a mixture of excitement and dread, fear and anticipation, and optimism tempered by pragmatism: that’s one reason it’s so stressful, and the main reason we encourage you to stay grounded and keep perspective.
We’ll close with one last idea we think will be helpful.
How Lessons From Therapy Can Help Your Teen Manage College Application Stress
The idea of going to college is thrilling, but it’s important to apply an essential lesson from therapy to the idea of college and the application process:
Avoid black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking about college.
It’s easy to get caught up in the idea of going to college. It’s even easier get caught up in the idea that going to college is the only path to a successful adulthood. While it’s true that college graduates earn more money from work over the course of their lives and experience less unemployment compared to people who don’t graduate from college, it’s also true that money is not the only metric for happiness and success in life, and college isn’t the only path to a practical career that can bring happiness and success.
What does that have to do with black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking about college?
Consider this statement:
If I don’t get into a good college, my life is over.
While that statement technically qualifies as catastrophizing, we think you get the idea. The statement is false.
Now consider this statement:
If I don’t get into college, I’ll never get a good job.
This statement is also false. There are a large number of professions and career options accessible through trade school, direct work experience, and other avenues, such as internships and apprenticeships. In addition, depending on you personal values and goals, service in the military is – and has been – a viable career start for millions of people in the U.S.
Finally, consider this statement:
If I don’t get into [this specific college], I’ll disappoint my parents and they won’t approve of, accept, or love me anymore.
Thoughts like this are far more common among high school seniors than parents think. Teens often appear mature, thoughtful, and capable, and often are. However, despite their emerging independence, what you think still matters to most of them. If they think you’re disappointed in them, it hurts, and can derail their confidence and self-esteem. In addition, every household with a teen considering college needs to answer this question:
Are they planning on college because that’s the life they see for themselves, or for another reason?
An honest answer to that question can reframe the entire situation, and help both you and your teen manage college application stress.
